


Fade Into the World

by NecklaceOfRope



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Flashbacks, Gen, Humor, M/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-01-16 11:31:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12341820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NecklaceOfRope/pseuds/NecklaceOfRope
Summary: She never asked to fall from a hole in the sky to Thedas. Same as she never asked to be thrown back on Earth without any warning, but hey, that's how things were.In any case, she now had one hell of a story to tell to her newly assigned therapist. Oh boy, was that going to be fun.





	1. Back to the Beginning

Everything was eerily silent.

Which was a bit odd, considering the fact that everything had started to crumble, last time she checked. Minor side effects of closing the Breach _again_ , and opening a rift inside Corypheus to destroy him, she supposed.

In her defence, she’d had seconds to act and it had seemed like a good idea at the time. She was developing an awful habit of opening rifts in desperate moments, it seemed. But she could have sworn that this time she didn’t actually go through the rift herself, or at least she thought so! On the bright side, no giant pieces of rubble were crashing down on her head at the moment, which she supposed was a good sign. However, she had somehow managed to end up unconscious and face-down on a cold stone floor, with no recollection of how exactly she got in that position in the first place. As usual. Apparently this was also starting to become a habit of hers, and it had now happened more times that she would ever admit to anyone.

With a sigh, she tiredly pushed herself up and checked her surroundings. First thing she noticed was that her staff was nowhere to be seen, and that was a bit unnerving. Funny that she had come to feel safer with it in her hands in mere months, but she had learned the hard way that you never knew when danger would strike. You were never ready enough, especially when you faced off with a guy that was known for, well, not dying.

Thinking about Corypheus led her to notice a second thing. There was no one around, _absolutely_ no one. No Corypheus, thankfully, but also no sign of her companions. Not a single soul. And everything was still eerily silent, there wasn’t even a whisper to mark another presence in the area besides herself. The overwhelming silence was starting to grate on her nerves, frankly. Deciding that a bit of exploration would probably be wise, she took a few careful steps forward. She couldn’t help but look every which way, after all it never hurt to keep an eye out for enemies or anything that would give her a clue about what was happening. And that’s how she noticed a third thing: she didn’t have the faintest idea of where she was. As if that weren’t enough, everything looked a bit… _off_. For starters, she was sure she had been in the ruins of the Valley of Sacred Ashes, but those were nowhere to be seen. She distinctly remembered Corypheus suddenly having the great idea of making the ruins float, just before their battle started. She wasn’t even going to comment on the stupidity of that one. But now, she found herself on an uneven patch of nothing but dark rock, surrounded on all sides by walls of it. At some points, whole chunks broke off and started floating and dissolving right in front of her eyes. Last time she checked, rocks didn’t float. They also didn’t have undefined and blurry edges, as if they couldn’t decide whether they existed or not. What little she could see of the sky looked like a swirling mist of myriad colours, perfectly capable of inducing a headache by looking at it for too long. Even the light made no sense, some things were too bright or oddly-tinted while others seemed faded and out of focus.

_Well then, what the fuck is going on?_

Maybe she was dead. It wouldn’t be completely out of the question, she supposed, with battling a wannabe god and whatnot. But judging by how tired she was, either she wasn’t dead or the old definition of “eternal rest” didn’t quite live up to its name. And she’d never put much stock in the idea of an afterlife, anyway. Walking around a bit would give her a better idea of whatever was happening, she guessed. Step by cautious step, she made her way through passages carved in the stone and impossibly tall rock spires, noting how the very path seemed to shift if she looked at it twice. She was feeling more and more unsettled the further she went, and when she came to an open space the reasons were glaringly obvious. The Black City hovered in the horizon, falsely within reach, captivating all attention.

_The Fade. Of course I had to be in the Fade. And here I thought I had gotten better at recognising it first glance, ha! But what am I doing here? Why can’t anything be nice and normal for once?_

She definitely didn’t know how she had ended up physically inside the Fade yet again. She was sure she wasn’t dreaming, there was nothing dreamlike about how all her muscles felt sore with every little movement and her cuts stung now that the adrenaline from the battle faded. But it could be worse, really. She had escaped once before, she could totally do it again. As far as she knew, it didn’t look like she was in any demon’s domain this time, which would make everything easier. And she had been paying attention every time Solas spoke about the Fade and its inhabitants. She just needed to find a way out, and then laugh about it in the celebration that was sure to come after Corypheus’ defeat. That was it. With how much she seemed to get stuck in the Fade, she wouldn’t blame Varric if he never let her live this one down.

Now that she had some notion of what was happening, and there seemed to be no immediate danger, she didn’t feel as anxious as before. Little by little, she had come to be quite comfortable in her explorations of the Fade while sleeping, so this couldn’t be much different, right? However, everything felt strangely bleak and empty, unlike in her previous visit. According to all she knew about the Fade, there usually were more spirits around. Also, other than the Black City, she could see no landmarks and no obvious way of getting out. At that moment, she would have given anything for a helpful spirit, even just a little wisp, that could point her in the right direction. She didn’t have the faintest idea of what to do, or where to go for that matter. Everything looked indistinct, a never-ending maze of rock and shifting paths bathed in weird light. She knew it was possible to shape the Fade when you were dreaming; after all, she had spent a fair few nights trying to do just that. But somehow she wasn’t sure things worked the same way if you were physically inside it. She tried to check just in case, concentrating on her surroundings and trying to change them to something more familiar. No such luck. Thinking big, she imagined all the rock suddenly dissolving into bubbles and making a clear path for her to follow to an exit. _No such luck either, although I’d be very surprised if something so silly worked._ The mental image brought a fleeting smile to her lips, at least. She made one last desperate attempt to alter even the smallest things, like making the pebbles on the floor move, but that didn’t work either until she kicked at them in frustration.

Not knowing what else to do, she resorted to calling for help. It was strange that at this point her antics hadn’t attracted a curious spirit anyway. There should have been some, she thought, with something big like a battle happening just the other side of the Veil and all that. But nothing. No one answered to her calls, and no one came looking to find out more about the strange physical presence in their midst. Not knowing what else to do, she tested an idea that had been lingering in her head since the last time she found herself inside the Fade: could she somehow open a rift from the inside? If it were possible, it would just be a matter of stepping through it and that would be all, she would be back.

Thus she tried. She tried very hard, really, but nothing happened. She stared at her left hand, concentrating so much on willing it to do something that she felt she would burn a hole through it. But nothing worked. She had become familiar over time with the strange pushing and pulling sensation she felt every time she used her mark on the Veil, and there was nothing like that this time. Maybe opening a rift was just not possible from this side of the Veil? Or was there something wrong? _Solas would probably have known, or at least have a decent theory about it_ , she thought. But for all her curiosity and her (probably annoying at times) endless questions, she hadn’t had half the time she would have liked to learn the secrets of the Fade. Not as well as he did, by far.

But it was best not to think about him too much. So after some more trying and staring, and a bit of hand waving thrown in for good measure, she finally accepted that she wasn’t making any progress. With no other options, she started walking around a bit. She had no particular direction in mind, and just wanted to see if she miraculously came across something she’d missed before. Wandering too far from her starting point was out of the question, because she wasn’t looking forward to ending up lost in the middle of the Frostback Mountains if she somehow managed to cross a rift back. Going through that once in her life was more than enough, thank you very much. She tried to keep track of where she thought she started, and soon realised it was almost impossible when everything looked the same and not even the paths could settle on following just one direction. So she wandered, and wandered, probably further than she had wanted to in the first place. There was no way to tell. She didn’t know how much time had passed, but at one point she found herself just looking for a nice enough rock to lean on for a quick rest. She was about to close her eyes for a bit when she saw something, out of the corner of her eye. The faintest of silhouettes. She turned towards it as fast as she could, but it seemed to vanish in front of her very eyes. Was she starting to imagine things? She could have sworn that every time she turned her head, there the silhouette was, just in the borders of her vision, only to disappear when she turned its way.

“Hello, is anyone there?”

Silence. But she could still sense whatever it was, just out of sight. No matter which way she turned, she couldn’t quite manage to see it properly. _That’s it, I’ve officially gone mad._ She figured that she might as well attempt to talk to whatever was out there, in case it wasn’t just a figment of her imagination. And if it was, there was no one around to judge her for talking to herself, anyway.

“Please, I need your help!”

She held her breath and listened for an answer, waiting for what felt like hours. She was increasingly certain that she had imagined the whole thing, but then…

“We were asked to stay away from you.”

She whirled around, and there it was. A vaguely humanoid figure stood just before her. Or floated, more accurately, all blurry edges and quivering light. A spirit at last! It seemed to flicker in and out of existence, like a candle close to burning out. It was hard to describe, but she felt a vague sense of comfort just by being in its presence, as if she were with an old friend. Its words, however, ringed a few alarm bells.

“What? Who told you that?"

“I cannot say. I should not be here. But you are lost. I want to help.”

“Could you tell me how to leave this place?”

“You cannot leave here. I think you must go forward. I am sorry.”

“Forward to where? I see nowhere to go…”

“I think you will know in time. I cannot… say more. I…not stay… much longer.”

The spirit reminded her very much of Cole, back in the first days when they met. Though it seemed to be having a harder time of speaking and just of general existing the more time it spent in her company. She didn’t know why she had such an effect, but she didn’t want to hurt a spirit of Compassion if she could help it. Any spirit really, but especially not one of Compassion, such a rare and precious trait. Even if she didn’t understand why being around her was so hard all of a sudden. It wasn’t just that staying without being able to help her further would be distressing to any spirit of Compassion, it also seemed to somehow be putting itself at risk just by being near her. All because it wanted to help, when it didn’t even know her, when it didn’t really have to! She knew such a thing was in its nature, but that didn’t make her feel any less touched by the gesture. It made troubling the spirit any further not sit well with her, especially since it had gone out of its way just because it didn’t want to see her so lost. She didn’t quite understand all that was going on, but she knew she didn’t want to keep the spirit around when somehow the whole situation seemed to be putting it in danger. And she would be doing just that if she pressed for more information, so she held herself and said instead:

“I… well, thank you. For everything. You don’t have to stay for me, I’ll get going. But you helped, you really did.”

Despite her clumsy words, she hoped that was enough to give the spirit some peace of mind, as she could do nothing else but watch it vanish completely. It really had helped her, in several ways. Being a comforting presence wasn’t the smallest of them. But she had to face that she was alone again, and the spirit had left her with something to think about. For some unknown reason, apparently she couldn’t get out of the Fade at the moment. She would need to investigate that, but there would be plenty of time for it once she was safely back in Skyhold. As for now, she didn’t particularly relish being lost in the Fade, and so she felt there was no time to waste. She didn’t even have the energy to be angry. To be honest, she felt more confusion than anger at this whole situation. There was nothing to do now but walk, she guessed. She just hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

Forward, the spirit had said. So she picked a random direction.

And started walking.

 

* * *

  
Lost in the nothingness, a lone figure wandered. She walked, well past the point where her muscles refused to work properly anymore. She had long lost track of direction, because such a thing turned meaningless when there was no known destination to reach.

When she could walk no longer, she stumbled forward. Wisps and spirits watched from a distance, never quite able to reach out to her. Demons eyed her from their domains, hungry for prey to toy with. But she was untouchable. She had long lost track of time, because such a thing ceased to make sense when there was nothing to do but press forward, over and over again.

When she could stumble no longer, she fell. Somehow she kept moving, or the Fade moved around her. She had long lost track of reality, because who could tell what such a thing really was anymore. She ventured deep and far where only the unknown awaited her, on mysterious winding paths that went on and on, where the spirits had no name…

Until she felt something change. It was subtle, but after so long it would be impossible not to notice. She saw that the never-ending rock was worn here, and _tired_ , there were gears and odd machines peeking through it. She couldn’t see the Black City, her constant companion up until now. The very air around her felt more vibrant, turbulent and filled with sounds. Familiar but almost forgotten. That was the oddest thing, the sense of familiarity of it all.

And she was no longer alone. Everything was bursting with different spirits, unlike any she had seen before, and they were not keeping out of her way anymore. They pushed against her, curious, overwhelming. They had never seen something like her, and even if they were not malicious they prodded her mind like inquisitive children, unaware of the damage they could do. She could hear them, whispering all kinds of things to her all at once. Promises of power, knowledge, obscure secrets, all in an unintelligible cacophony of words. In her head, all around her, maddening. She was starting to lose track of her sanity, because such a thing no longer seemed like a particularly useful thing to have.

The only thing she had not lost track of was herself. She who never gave up without a fight. She who was nothing but stubborn. She who enjoyed being in control of her thoughts, if nothing else.

So she ignored them all, refused them access to her mind. A lifetime ago, she remembered another spirit talking to her. It had said she would know where it was possible to leave. Here everything felt different, full of other possibilities. She thought she knew now. She focused on her mark, tugged at the Veil, and forced it to let her through. This time, it worked.

This time, she stepped through to the unknown.

 

* * *

  
Everything was eerily loud.

She could hear several crashing sounds all around her. She could smell the smoke. She could feel the heat of flames, and hear the piercing sound of screams. The deafening noise of many alarmed voices, the hiss of the smoke, the sounds of a bustling city that waited for no one. Suddenly, a siren broke through the cacophony of sounds.

_Hold on a second, a siren? Where am I?_

Looking up, her eyes widened as she saw many of the things she had thought lost. A road. Wrecked cars. An ambulance. A sidewalk with terrified passersby. Modern stores, buildings, and skyscrapers everywhere, filled with people and light and sound in a fast-paced and ever-changing whirlwind. She had forgotten how overwhelming this place could be.

_Wait, what? How come I am on Earth again!?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! NecklaceOfRope here with a new adventure, it's going to be an emotional rollercoaster (hopefully), so put on your seat belts and enjoy the ride!  
> This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction in English, so every comment and criticism will be appreciated. So yeah, thanks for reading, and tell me what you think!  
> See you in the next chapter ;)


	2. Tell the world I’m coming home

There was no trace of the spirits that had been there a moment ago, nor of the never-ending rocky landscape that had been so confusing to her. Everything felt solid and _heavy_ in a way the Fade did not. Seconds ago, she’d been on the verge of losing herself. The slap of mundanity, the _familiarity_ of everything around her was unexpected. Bu it did wonders to help her start recovering some semblance of clarity again.

_No no no, this can’t be, this isn’t even supposed to be possible, right? What exactly did just happen?_

It was hard to believe, but this was Earth. Or a weird dimensional pocket inside of the Fade that looked exactly like it and that she had somehow managed to stumble into, maybe. A tremendously detailed and disturbingly real dimensional pocket. But no, that was just too much of a stretch, even with how crazy everything that had happened to her was, as of late. Besides, this felt nothing like the Fade _at all_. If you thought about it, it was funny how it had taken her so long to believe she was in another world when she first appeared in Thedas, and how she was now willing to accept she was back on Earth so quickly. The second time was easier, she supposed. And the icing on the cake was that she still had no idea how she managed to hop from world to world like that. She didn’t know how it had happened the first time, and she sure as hell did not know what she had done this time. Sure, she had somehow managed to open a rift from inside the Fade, but she had half-expected that if by some miracle it worked, she would appear somewhere in Thedas, at least. Not on Earth. The Fade wasn’t supposed to work like that, was it?

Truth is, she had no idea. She simply did not know enough about its nature. Despite her best efforts, the only thing she was absolutely certain about was that it would have taken a lifetime to start uncovering its secrets, and she’d been at it for… what? A few months? Yeah, she was no expert, and definitely not in a position to make guesses about it. Although she’d love to discuss this sometime with every mage she knew, it would have made for such an interesting conversation and maybe someone would have a better idea…

With a start, she realised that she must have been standing there lost in thought for quite a while, if the way an old lady nearby looked at her was any indication. Not that that old lady would know, but wandering the Fade and being dropped back to Earth against all odds could do that to you. It accounted for a little grogginess. She had the right to look like an idiot for a bit! And an exhausted idiot at that, because her mind may have started to clear, but she was still tired to the bone. She’d get a move on in just a minute, thank you very much.

Taking stock of her surroundings, she saw she was right in the middle of a car crash on a two-way street. On what definitely looked to be regular old Earth. In fact, on what looked a remarkable whole lot like the main street of her regular old hometown, and during the rush hour, no less. The sidewalk was currently occupied by a throng of worried passersby and curious onlookers, fumbling with their phones and chattering amongst themselves. Some among the most helpful of them must have called the ambulance she’d heard before. Of course, it would be just her luck to reappear on Earth wherever and whenever she would attract more attention, instead of on a discreet field in the middle of nowhere or something.

There were tire marks all over the road, from what she could see. It seemed a van had tried to stop all of a sudden and had swerved into a car coming from the opposite direction. It didn’t seem like they had been going too fast, but the impact had shattered the driver’s side window of the car nonetheless and the door had caved in. There was glass lying around everywhere. The guy driving the van was conscious, at least; he was wiggling and trying to free himself from his airbag. But the woman at the car hadn’t been so lucky, since she was limp and bleeding profusely from a gash on her forehead.

All traffic had stopped, to make way for the ambulance. And there she was, in the middle of it all, sticking out like a sore thumb. She felt like she had dallied long enough. Debating over what to do next, a thought stopped her dead in her tracks. It finally occurred to her that there was no pedestrian crossing nearby that she could see, and nothing that could have made the driver lose control of his van like that.

_Oh no, what if I’m responsible for this? The van must have tried to avoid me, when I popped out of thin air! This is my fault!  No no no no…_

The sudden rush of guilt made her go to the wounded woman as fast as she could. She wasn’t even thinking, she had no idea what she could do to help, and just acted out of impulse. Fortunately, before she could make things worse by doing something she was not supposed to, people in uniforms were already getting out of the ambulance and making their way towards the car.

“Please miss, don’t touch that woman.”

Paramedics. EMTs. The words took a few more seconds to come to her than she was comfortable with, used as she had become to hear people calling for “healers” in Thedas. The one that had spoken wasted no time and started working on the driver with the help of a partner, while a third came over to her. She was a middle-aged woman with a no-nonsense air, who raised her voice over the commotion of the street.

“Excuse me miss, can you hear me? My name is Karen, and I’m a paramedic here to help you. Can you tell me your name?”

“Yes, I’m Vera. But really, I don’t need anything, I’m fine...”

“Vera, you do have a few scrapes at first glance. Would you at least let me make sure they are nothing to worry about?”

She nodded her consent. She was sure she had nothing too serious, otherwise she would have collapsed by now. But she was not a fan of attracting too much attention, so maybe it was best to let the woman do her job without a fuss and hope she finished quickly.

“I’m going to start by checking your breathing and pulse if you let me. Would you mind if I also asked you a few questions? Do you remember what happened?”

“I-I’m not really sure… But, wait a minute, will the driver be fine?”

She didn’t want this woman to think she was crazy if she started telling her what she _believed_ had happened, so she kept it to herself for the time being. But the thought of being the cause of the driver’s injuries was a difficult one to bear, and she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“She’s being tended to, I assure you we are doing all we can for her. Now, do you know where you are?”

Fortunately she already had that one figured out, and told the paramedic while the older woman firmly held her wrist to check her pulse. She didn’t want this Karen to think she was disoriented, since that would probably guarantee getting a lot more attention and questions about her recent past with extremely awkward answers. From time to time, Vera snuck glances in the direction of the injured driver. The two paramedics had managed to get her out of the car, and one was getting her into a safe position in a stretcher while the other checked her vital signs. She still wasn’t responding, but at least they were getting ready to take her to the hospital, instead of covering her body with a blanket. There was hope, but Vera would have no way of knowing what became of her. More guilt to add to the pile, then. However, Karen’s next question wouldn’t let her dwell on it for long.

“And do you know today’s date?”

It hadn’t even occurred to her to _think_ about the date here. She knew roughly how much time she’d been in Thedas, and she had also tried to keep track of Earth’s date, but in the end there were so many things to worry about that it had simply flown out of her mind. She realised that she didn’t even known if time flowed at the same rhythm here and in Thedas! Thank goodness for modern technology being everywhere, because without it she’d have had no hope in guessing the answer to this. As it was, looking around she could see a big digital clock on a shop with _17/02/2018_ displayed on it. Trying to glance at it as surreptitiously as possible so the paramedic wouldn’t notice, Vera told her the date with as much confidence as she could muster. As if ten minutes ago she hadn’t been wandering through the Fade not even knowing what time was.

“Very good. Now, if you would let me I’m going to start with those cuts...”

Karen set to work, starting by examining the injuries on her arms one by one and cleaning them with something that stung. Vera let the woman do her job, trying to be as still and unobtrusive as possible, but on the inside her mind wasn’t so quiet. 17 February 2018? That meant that the year and a half she’d spent in Thedas had also passed here. And that was more than enough time to be declared a missing person, right? The moment she set foot on the hospital and they got her personal information, they would notify the police. There would be an investigation. And then there would be tons of questions she didn’t have a reasonable answer to. Not an answer anyone in their right mind would believe, anyway. She didn’t want to go through all that, not yet. And she definitely didn’t want to go through a psychiatric evaluation as a result, on top of all the rest.

And her friends here, or her family! All this time without any news of her, they would all probably be worried sick, and being called from a hospital of all places would do nothing for their nerves. She didn’t want to put them through any of that, or herself for that matter. Her family… the realisation that, for the first time in months, she could actually _see_ them again hit her full force. And hug them and joke with them and everything she’d missed so much. Just thinking about it made her want to see them immediately, so yeah. It was definitely better that she avoided hospitals and everything of the sort, right now. Just go home, patch herself up, explain things calmly. She could trust her family with anything, they would understand. From then, they’d see how things went. Together.

But the paramedic apparently had other plans.

“Okay, your vital signs are all normal. You seem to have several cuts and bruises, it seems that most of them are on your arms but I would need to remove those clothes and examine the rest of your body…”

Now Karen was looking strangely at her. Oh, of course. She hadn’t thought about it, but she was still in her armour, and she supposed it was not normal to find someone dressed in what was basically a weird reinforced robe. With all that leather and metal bits. Who knew what Karen was thinking, but she was nothing if not professional and she recovered fast.

“Aaaanyway… all those crystal shards did a number on you. The cuts I can see are not bleeding very much, but I would need to examine you further and we definitely need to clean everything and get stitches for some of them. So we are going to take you to the hospital as soon as another ambulance gets here, okay?”

She supposed she looked a wreck. If all the glass lying around was any indication, it seemed like the first logical conclusion anyone would jump to would be that she got her cuts from it. Instead of, you know, a battle in another world. She was definitely not going to contradict Karen, lest the paramedic started looking more closely and noticed something amiss. But she wouldn’t go to a hospital, and much less when none of the cuts looked life-threatening and she could take care of them herself.

“Thank you, but I assure you I’m fine, there’s no need to waste more time on me. I can take care of this. I’ll just go home and fix it myself.”

“Miss, you need to understand that there’s a risk of infection and your wounds need to be cleaned and stitched as soon as possible. I assure you, the hospital is nearby and this won’t take long.”

“Yes, I understand that. But I don’t think I need to go to the hospital. I mean, I believe I can refuse medical attention, right?”

“Yes miss, you can, but I would need to make sure you understand all the consequences first.”

That started a long talk about infection, potential risks and complications, and all the reasons why not getting her injuries looked at by a professional was a poor idea. It seemed the paramedic was trying to make sure she was in her right mind and able to make decisions, because she made her repeat everything she said in Vera’s own words to make sure she understood all of it, and asked her all kinds of questions until she was satisfied. Karen didn’t press her, but she did try to make Vera see all the benefits of going to the hospital, and discussed with her the reasons why Vera felt like she didn’t need one. She obviously wasn’t going to tell the paramedic she was a missing person not wanting to be recognised, and instead insisted on not thinking she would need one. She went so far as to mention her mum was a doctor that would take her to the hospital if the need arose, which wasn’t that far from the truth, really. She neglected to mention that her mum was, to be exact, a veterinarian. But that was just little details. Still, it looked like Karen would have preferred to send her to a proper hospital, and under normal circumstances Vera wouldn’t have objected. She was not particularly enjoying being this difficult, but in this case it was necessary. By then, the driver of the van had managed to disentangle himself from his airbag, and was claiming quite loudly that a girl had come out of nowhere and that he had had no time to react. It occurred to her that this was a serious car crash, the police were going to show up sooner or later anyway, regardless of if they were looking for her or not. All in all, all her check-up hadn’t taken up more than ten minutes, but it was still strange that the police hadn’t shown up already. She could count herself lucky, because no doubt they would have liked to question her as the possible cause for the accident. She needed to get out of there, and fast, if she hoped to avoid that particular fuss for now. No one in the thinning crowd of onlookers was familiar, she didn’t think anyone had recognised her. If her luck held and she slipped out without making a scene she wouldn’t be identified, right? She hoped so, at least. She seemed to have convinced Karen that she was in a proper mental condition to refuse treatment, but now the paramedic wanted her to sign a few forms. They said all kinds of things about Vera legally assuming responsibility if things went south and other things she didn’t pay enough attention to understand. More importantly, she had to give all kind of personal information that she, of course, invented. Good thing she’d always been a decent improviser. This way, she filled in all the gaps and was free to go without a fuss in mere minutes.

After all was said and done, she walked away as calmly as possible. It seemed important not to look suspicious, so no one would have reason to notice and remember her. She’d have thought this would be more difficult, given that she was still wearing her armour and was dishevelled and covered in cuts. And granted, people did stare at her, but not for long and way less than she would have thought. With luck, they all thought she was going to a convention or a costume party or something. Dressed as some kind of steampunk zombie. It wouldn’t have been _that_ unheard of.

In any case, she was finally free to go home. Home. Woah, how weird that sounded. It was one of those things she’d tried hard not to dwell too much on, because she had been growing less and less certain of what she should even call home. Certainly not the measly apartment she had been living in before all this started, she’d been there for barely two months and she hadn’t even met half of her neighbours. She wouldn’t even bother going there; chances were her family would have taken away her things so somebody else could rent it, with how long it had been. And she’d never even thought about it as anything other than a house, anyway, somewhere to live. When she thought of home, she thought of people, not places. And as odd at it seemed, she couldn’t deny that she had two very different homes now… but it was highly inconvenient that the two were, quite literally, worlds apart. It’d be nice to visit by taking a bus or something, instead of, you know, interdimensional travel. Or whatever it was.

At least her home in this world was quite close to where she’d appeared. Her parents lived with her little brother in a small house about ten minutes away from the town centre, and that was where she was headed to. Which was great, because she was tired as fuck by now and really not willing to walk long distances. As soon as she caught sight of her old bed, she wouldn’t let go of it in a long, long time. If it was still there, that is… who knew how much things would have changed. Her parents had kept a room for her even when she started living in her first apartment years ago, always said they wanted a room for her when she visited. She suspected they didn’t want to part with any of her old stuff, too. After all, Mr. Cuddles was still lying around somewhere, at his old age of 27. Even after having undergone several rough years of brutal hugs by her clingy younger self and two life-threatening eye surgeries where his eyes were replaced by cute (and mismatched) buttons. And all because he had the honour of being her first teddy-bear. Quite sentimental, her parents... she loved them to pieces. But maybe after so much time of her disappearance, with no word from her, no nothing, maybe they’d lost hope. Maybe they did end up believing that their daughter would never come back home, and they got rid of all her things just so they didn’t have a constant reminder of her absence…

It probably said something about her that within the first five minutes she got to herself in a long time, her mind went down such a pessimistic path. Back in Thedas, there was always something more pressing to do, some meeting to attend, strategies to discuss, dignitaries to appease, rifts to seal… something that distracted her from these dark thoughts. She did think about Earth and her loved ones there, quite a lot at first, but more fleetingly the more her responsibilities grew. And the friends she’d made there had also taken it upon themselves to distract her when her mind took such a turn, that was the reason behind quite a few of the most memorable games of Wicked Grace, after all. No, it wouldn’t do to start getting all depressed over something she didn’t even know for sure. She refused to. It also wouldn’t do to appear in front of her family all covered in half healed cuts. They would have been worried enough for her to go and add some more worries to the pile when she appeared at last. If she remembered right, there was a park two streets over that she used to pass through a lot. It had many isolated benches that would be perfect for trying a bit of healing magic without people noticing and freaking out when her hand started to get all glowy and the cuts suddenly stitched themselves together.

She found one of those benches under the shade of a tree, and far enough from the entrance of the park and the main path that people wouldn’t see her unless they were really looking. Sitting down was a relief, honestly, she didn’t remember being this tired in a long time. And this would need some concentration. Back when she was familiarizing herself with different kinds of magic, she had discovered she didn’t particularly have a knack for healing. She had nonetheless stubbornly insisted on learning until she could at least manage the very basics. The equivalent of first-aid, more or less. Enough to patch someone up until the actual healers could do their thing. So she set to work, closing her eyes and concentrating on drawing just the right amount of power from the Fade for such delicate work… until she found nothing, that is. She couldn’t even remotely feel the familiar presence of the Fade and the Veil all around her, like she used to. It was as if it didn’t even exist! Or as if it was so far away it wasn’t even perceptible. Looking intently at her left hand, she saw that there was no sign of the Anchor, not even the faintest green line on her palm. She used to feel a weird tingling around the Anchor, even when she wasn’t actively using it, but now that was gone too. It made sense in a way, she supposed, that if there was no Veil to manipulate there would be no trace of the Anchor in her hand, but it was so strange to be finally free of it…

_So, no sign of the Fade, no magic, and no Anchor either. Things are getting weirder by the second._

Come to think of it, she didn’t have a logical reason to be so surprised. When had she noticed anything like the Fade before, on Earth? Or magic, for that matter? About never, that’s when. But she had become so used to it in Thedas, it was such a fundamental part of everything, that she had come to take it for granted, she supposed.

And if she couldn’t even feel the Fade on Earth… what was that weird place she was in just before she managed to open a rift? Her reappearance here made even less sense to her. Ugh, how she hated knowing so little! The Fade was the only thing in common she could see between both times she had changed worlds. But if the Fade was nowhere to be found, or so it seemed… how was she ever going to get back to Thedas? Granted, she had wished to return to Earth for the longest time, but not by abandoning Thedas without so much as a word. All her companions, her _friends_ , would probably think something had happened to her, and they’d be in a tizzy looking for her. Not to mention the Inquisition. She had no doubt Josie and Leliana could handle it, but such an organization with its leader suddenly gone without a trace would be a nightmare to manage, a nightmare she most definitely didn’t wish on them. They had enough on their plate. It would be nice, for once, if she at least got the opportunity to explain and say goodbye before being dumped in another world!

Ugh, she was so drained. Worn-out. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Tired of worrying, of the stress, of never knowing even half of what was going on. Of having her emotions in a tangle and her thoughts crawling around inside her head like insidious worms. And of being the constant cause of trouble for others. She wished she didn’t cause such a mess wherever she went, but things were never like you wanted them to be.

She might have no idea how to reach the people in Thedas right now, but she was on Earth, and she should at least try to ease the worries of those she’d left behind here before, right? That much she could do. There would be plenty of time to think about all this later, when she’d seen her family and her mind didn’t feel so sluggish. This park was only a couple of minutes away from her parents’ house, after all, so she wearily got back up and resumed walking. How would they be now, after all this time? Would her little brother not be so little anymore? Would something have happened to them? What would have changed? How would they all react? And how was she even going to explain herself?

_Hi mum, hi dad. Hey there, little bro. How have you guys been? Me? Oh, I’ve been fine. Just chilling in another world. You know, in the middle of a war and stuff._

Yeah… that would not go over well.

Anyway, explanations would come later, she guessed. If she knew her family in the least, she’d be struggling to breathe from the inside of a collective bear hug for five minutes straight. There would be lots of tears, her mum would try to ask her a million questions all at once, her dad would hug her like he would never let her go.  They would have to drag her brother into the hug, because he was never one for displays of affection, but then she knew he’d squeeze her tighter than anyone else. She needed something like that right now.

A few more steps and she was already in the quiet residential street, just doors away from her family. Damn, how she’d missed them! And this was finally it. This was the moment she was never sure would ever happen again… and she was such a nervous wreck! She hadn’t gotten this nervous for half the things she had had to do, and this was her family, not a fucking dragon or something! With each step she took it became crystal clear just how much she had longed to see them again, but she just didn’t know what to expect. A lot could have happened in a year and a half…

The three steps to reach the front door had never seemed so steep. But she was finally in front of the wooden door, and she was ridiculously comforted to find that the coat of paint in the door was still the same bright purple. That had been her favourite colour at the time her parents bought and repaired the house all those years ago, and even if it was terribly flashy they had all grown attached to it. The fact that this little thing remained the same was a relief, as immense as it was silly. But then her hand went to the doorbell almost of its own accord, and that was it. The moment of truth…

She had been thinking about her family’s reactions, for some reason assuming she would be composed and calm in the middle of it all. Quite the miscalculation, apparently, since she was the one in tears at the first sight of her brother’s astonished face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! And welcome to a new chapter! Sorry for the terrible delay, but life and work got in the way in a way I hadn’t expected them to (and still are). In fact, the finishing touches of the chapter were done while under the flu, so who knows what might be written in there XD Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy!  
> English is not my first language, so you might notice errors, typos or inconsistencies in the style that might have slipped my notice (even though I try to check things like a million times). If you do notice some, or anything else really, please let me know.  
> Thank you so much for reading, and tell me what you think in a comment! And double thanks to everyone who left kudos and/or comments, I wasn’t expecting this to get noticed at all so it really made me happy :)  
> By the way, I have a Tumblr thingy, where I go by necklace-0f-rope, if anyone's interested. And yes, that thing in the middle is a zero because otherwise the name was already taken XD
> 
> See you in the next chapter ;)


	3. Readjustment

The sheer impact of just how much she’d missed them all hit her full force. Wasting no time, she threw herself into her brother’s arms, not those of the lanky teenager she remembered but those of the adult he’d (almost) become. He’d changed so much! And this time, there was no need to drag him into the hug, because in the end those arms tightened around her very carefully, like he couldn’t believe she was there and she might disappear again if he squeezed too hard.

By now she was full-on sobbing, in relief or in happiness, she didn’t even know. Her little brother was still there, he was all grown up, but he was fine! And she saw over his shoulder, walking hurriedly down the corridor to investigate what all the noise was about, the short figure of her mother. She was a bit blurry through all the tears, and Vera couldn’t tell at first if she’d changed much. But the way her gentle face lighted up when she saw her, and the way she threw her arms around her two children and squeezed like her life depended on it hadn’t changed at all. Vera buried her face in her mum’s shoulder, breathing in the cheap perfume the two siblings had given her for her birthday so many years ago. It was overwhelming to realise how much she’d missed even the small things like that, without ever really being aware of it.

And at last, she felt more than saw the presence of her father, enveloping them all in a bear hug. In ordinary circumstances, he’d be two seconds away from tickling everyone else until they dissolved into unstoppable giggles (“ _Cause that’s what hugs are for, isn’t it?”_ , he’d say). But this time, she could only feel his steady presence, not daring to let go of his daughter lest she disappeared again, not daring to even move. That is, except for when he reached out to ruffle her hair, like he’d done so many times before.

She wished she could stay in that moment forever. Surrounded by her family. Safe. But of course, her family wouldn’t be her family if they didn’t break the moment.

“Dad, hate to interrupt, but you’re stepping on my toe!”

“Ouch, sorry son!” the big man said, trying to remove his foot without hitting everyone else and failing spectacularly.

“Boys, calm down, we are smothering Vera! Let’s step back for a second...”

“Let me see my little girl!”

“Dad, you know she’s both your eldest and almost as tall as you are…”

“Hush, you! As her father, Vee is doomed to always be my little girl, and I will hear no objections!” he exclaimed, with feigned severity, even when he couldn’t help the playful smile. She chuckled at the nickname she hadn’t heard in so long. Her father was the only one to ever call her Vee, much to her mother’s exasperation. She had precisely chosen a short name so no one would _‘disgrace it by shortening it’_ , in her own words. To no avail. Vera suspected that was one of the reasons why her father did it, since it gave him so many opportunities to tease his wife. And despite their words, it seemed no one wanted to be the first to break away from the hug. Vera couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear at their antics. This ridiculous and wonderful bunch was her family, and she loved them to bits for it.

“I am indeed only three inches shorter than you, dad, you know…”

“A year and a half without seeing you, and that’s the first thing you say? You’re gonna give these two a heart attack, sis!” her brother exclaimed. He might be trying to hide it behind jokes, as usual, but Vera could tell that her brother had gotten all emotional. She knew him well, and at least in that, he hadn’t changed all that much. And she wasn’t impervious either, as her tear-stained face would show to anyone looking. Almost without her permission, a thought escaped her in a whisper...

“I’ve missed you all so much…”

“That’s more like it!”

… aaand of course he heard it, and teased her about it. She had missed his antics terribly, the way they both would tease each other to no end. Oh, how she’d missed her lovable clown of a baby brother.

At last the hug did come to an end, fortunately for everybody’s lungs. And inevitably, when they all parted and got their first proper look at her, questions started coming. Her mother, in particular, had always been very proficient in shooting them a mile a minute:

“Honey, are you ok? You look like you’ve just been through war, you’re all covered in cuts! And what happened to you? It’s been more than a year without any news, we refused to think the worst had happened, but…” her mum averted her gaze at that, and it spoke volumes about how hard it must have been for them to keep their hopes up. Vera felt awfully guilty. Of course, she knew it wasn’t like she had had much of a choice in the matter of her disappearance. Still, she couldn’t help feeling terrible for causing her family even the slightest bit of sorrow. And that thing about having been through war… oh, her mother didn’t even know how close to the truth she was. But right now, Vera couldn’t bear to tell her. All of them. She didn’t even know just how much she was going to say, or how. She didn’t want to worry them more than necessary, hell, she wasn’t even sure she should tell them the truth, since it was, let’s face it, hard to believe. To put it mildly. She had to say something, though, she couldn’t let her mum or any of them dwell on such dark thoughts.

“I’m so sorry, I really am, for everything I put you all through. But yeah, I’m ok, all these cuts you see are barely scratches, and…” she trailed off, knowing her words were not enough, nothing short of the full story would be enough. But she needed to think _a lot_ about what to say exactly. Back in the day, she used to claim that shower thoughts were the best thoughts, and looking down at her grimy self, a shower wasn’t such a bad idea. Plus, it would give her space to put her thoughts in order. Just a quick shower and she’d be ready to face them, she promised herself. Still, she knew she was stalling for time, and having the gall to do so now that she was here in front of them after such a long disappearance left a bad taste in her mouth. _Why didn’t I think of something to say_ before _coming here?_

“What happened is… a bit of a long story. And I promise I’ll tell you, just let me get cleaned up real quick, ok? And then I’ll answer all your questions.”

Everyone seemed quite stunned by such a random request. Her father shot her a dubious look, probably guessing there was something more about this sudden desire for a shower (and oh, how right he was). As such, they wasted no time in voicing their doubts:

“But sis, you can’t just leave us in the dark now! You just came back!”

“Honey, you can’t possibly expect that we do nothing when you show up looking like that!”

“Yeah, Vee, at least tell us were you got those ‘ _scratches’_ …”

She knew she had to offer them at least _some_ answers, she owed them that much after being away for so long. But it was too soon for the full story, she simply didn’t know how to go about that! Instead, she figured that talking now about the accident part of the story, at least, was credible and would explain the more immediate concern about her wounds. That she could do. Car crashes involved no interdimensional travel or any such weird shit, at the very least. Maybe she could convince them that she’d been lucky enough to come out of it unscathed ( _Unlike the driver,_ she thought in a flash of guilt). And hopefully that would suffice for them to let her have a few minutes to herself until she was ready to tell them whatever she ended up saying.

“Please don’t freak out… ok, I was in a car crash just before coming here, but I’m fine. I wouldn’t be standing here if I wasn’t, right? What’s more, a paramedic already saw to me, and every cut I got they already took care of. I promise I will explain everything else later-”

That did garner a few alarmed looks, none more so than her mother’s. Of course, it couldn’t be so easy. And as she should have expected, they did freak out:

“What do you mean an accident? Let me take a look, honey!”

“Are you sure you’re ok, Vee?”

“Yeah, sis, I don’t wanna be mopping your blood for days!”

“Simon, please! Don’t be so crass!”

“I swear it looks worse than it is, guys. I can move and everything. And they let me go! They wouldn’t have if I was a step away from collapsing, right?”

Both her brother and father looked slightly placated, if a little more anxious than before. They couldn’t deny that she was right as rain for having just been in an accident, it couldn’t have been all that bad. Still, she could tell that her family wasn’t wholly convinced with the idea of letting her go on her merry way, especially her mother. She wondered if they’d agree to it if she could maybe offer some kind of compromise… even when she wasn’t proud of resorting to this kind of negotiations with her own family to get away for a few minutes, when by all rights she should be seizing every moment to be with them after so long.

“… Look, if you want, mum, you’ll take a look at me, as you said. If after that you’re satisfied that I’m not going to faint any second, go tell these two whatever you find and I’ll use that time for showering real quick, ok? And then I’ll tell the three of you everything, I promise. I’m not trying to hide anything or get away from you guys, I just… need a little time, ok?” she said earnestly, hoping they could hear the truth in her voice. She knew she was asking for something absurd when she just got back, and giving no explanation on top of that. Luckily for her, she had a _very_ understanding family, because they knew her well and could see she was sincere about her need for time. That got them to comply, even if some of them seemed reluctant about it.

“… fine, honey, if you insist so much on that shower, go ahead.”

“But you are not getting out of this without giving me all the details later, sis!”

“Yeah, and you know he won’t stop nagging you until he gets ‘em. And I’ll egg him on him if I have to!”

“Dad!” her brother protested, feigning indignation. But the light banter was good, it meant they weren’t mad at her, and she felt relieved. As amazing as it was, they understood and were willing to wait a bit longer for her. And for her part, her mother was now on a mission and needed no more to spring into action:

“Simon, would you get the first aid-kit from the bathroom, just in case, please? And Vera, don’t you just stand in the hallway like some stranger. Do you want to go upstairs to your old room so we can take a look at those cuts?”

She did want to see what they’d done with the place since she last visited, as she was always one to go down nostalgia lane. As her brother hurried off to get the first aid kit, Vera and her mother followed him upstairs while her father wandered off, calling over his shoulder:

“I’ll be in the kitchen getting something ready, Vee! I bet you’ve missed my culinary masterpieces more than you’ve missed any of us!”

It was clear he still knew how to get a chuckle out of her, he’d always been good at that. And she’d always been good at playing along.

“I totally did, dad!”

“I can’t believe you two!” her mum exclaimed, half indignant, half amused at their banter. “Please ignore that clown I married, honey. Let’s get you patched up.”

The upstairs hallway looked exactly the same as when Vera had last seen it, except for some more pictures of those babies dressed weirdly as flowers and vegetables. Everyone in the house found them creepy except for her dad, so he’d made a running joke of buying them and hanging them up on the walls when and where they least expected it. He had even put an especially disturbing one right next to the last door in the hallway, which was her room. _Never doubt my family to do weird shit like that in my absence_ , she thought with amusement.

At last she opened the door to her room, half expecting it to be turned into a gym or maybe a storage, only to find that it was… more or less the same as she remembered it being. Most of the stuff she was sure she had taken to her new apartment was there. That included her horrid patchwork quilt (a project gone very, very wrong, but she’d grown attached to it). Coming after her, her mum must have seen the surprise on her face, because she said:

“You know when you moved to your own apartment we kept your room as a guest room, since we didn’t really need the space. But when you disappeared… we had to take your stuff out of your apartment. And we put some of your things back in here, just in case… you know, just in case you ever came back.” at that point, her mum’s voice wavered slightly, and Vera could only guess as to the ordeal her family had had to face in the wake of her disappearance. She had missed them painfully, true, but at least she had had some idea of what was happening. That kind of comfort had been denied to them.

“Oh, mum! I’m so sorry… I never meant to worry you, never wanted to put any of you through so much. I can’t even imagine-”

“Never mind that now!” she said, forcing a smile back on. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

Her mother held Vera’s hand for a moment, lost in thought. She recovered quickly though, being a firm believer in the power of keeping one’s hands occupied to not dwell too much on bleak thoughts. She started by examining the cuts on her arms, then her face. There was not much more to see, since her armour had covered her well and the worst cuts she had were all in places the paramedic had been able to reach earlier. Even if Vera had been unable to fully close them with her magic, the deepest ones had long ago stopped bleeding. Nonetheless, her mother insisted on cleaning each and every cut again as soon as her son brought the first aid kit. Vera tried to protest (yet again) that everything had already been taken care of, but her mother would have none of it. Being able to do something with her own two hands had always calmed her, no matter how unnecessary it was, so Vera reluctantly let her. And in the end, her mother couldn’t help but to ask again about what had been on her mind all along:

“So… are you going to tell me what happened, honey?”

“Yeah, I will. Just wait a little longer, please?  Just enough for me to get my thoughts together, and then the four of us can talk for as long as you want, ok? Please? Is that too much to ask?”

“No, I guess not. But surely you understand how much we’ve missed you and that we’ve been terribly worried and we’re all dying to know what happened, don’t you?”

“I do, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry to make you wait even more, but I…I need some time, ok? Just… give me a few more minutes and I’ll tell you all what happened, I swear.”

Vera could tell her mother hadn’t been all that happy about it before, and she wasn’t now. Still, the woman had seen yet again that her daughter wouldn’t budge on this. She would try to respect her need for time even if she didn’t know her daughter’s reasons, since she could tell Vera was serious about it. She also didn’t want to spoil their reunion by prying any further. After all, she’d know why in a few minutes, anyway. Following a small pause, she said:

“Fine, honey, take your time. I’ll get you some of your old clothes, ok? There must be some around here somewhere…”

“Nah, don’t bother, I can look for something myself if you want-”

“Honey, it’s nothing. Go get your shower, we’ll be downstairs, don’t keep us waiting!”

“I won’t. I’ll just take a few minutes, I promise.” Vera said, standing up with an apologetic smile. On her way to the bathroom, she kept chiding herself for further delaying some answers and some closure to her family. But she really, _really_ needed the time. She’d try to be as fast as possible about this, hoping that in the shower she wouldn’t get distracted. Barring one small distraction, it seemed, since just as she was closing the bathroom door she faintly heard her brother asking in disbelief:

“Is no one going to comment on what she is wearing? Seriously? No one?”

A small chuckle escaped her at that. She couldn’t hear any answers, but it didn’t matter much as that was one of the many things she’d get to explain soon enough. That was going to be… weird, to say the least. Interdimensional travel (or whatever this was) seemed to be quite unheard of, after all.

Not wasting any time, her armour fell to the floor piece by piece. The reinforced robe went first, followed by the bracers and leg pieces, and finally the softer (and absolutely filthy) clothes underneath. It was mismatched as hell, but it had worked pretty well, all things considered. She left everything on a heap on the floor, not paying much attention to it. She’d never claimed to be the epitome of tidiness, anyway. For the first time in many months, she stepped into an actual shower, and feeling the water wash away all the grime felt like a blessing. She simply stood there for a few moments, feeling at peace with the universe (showers always had that effect on her, as showers are wont to do). All train of thought was temporarily interrupted…

…but not for long.

_What do I do? Do I tell them the truth? I mean, there’s no one else out there I trust as much as them, but it’s such a weird story to hear…it’s going to freak them out. So much. They’ll probably think I’ve gone mad… scratch that, they are definitely going to think I’ve gone mad. But what can I tell them if not the truth? They deserve it, I can’t just spit some half-assed excuse for a year and a half of absence…_

Her eyes fell on the draining water, which was looking decidedly less murky now. It occurred to her that she might as well try out the new shower gel she’d spotted on the shelf, and with that came the urge to splurge on the conditioner. How she would enjoy not having to fight with the tangles in her unruly curls for once! Though she’d never gotten the chance to try that fancy Orlesian soap Josie had gotten her for that same purpose... _wait, why the fuck am I thinking about soap? Focus, Vera!_ She didn’t even know where this sudden onslaught of frivolous thoughts came from, unbidden, and she tried her hardest to return to the matter at hand.

_I wouldn’t know what to tell them, anyway. That I went to see the world and forgot to tell them? That I became part of a cult and just escaped? I can’t think about anything that’s not absolutely ridiculous, I might as well tell them I was abducted by aliens. And whatever I told them would only raise more questions I don’t have any way of preparing for. If I tell them the truth, at least I don’t have to invent anything. I’m going to need a proper explanation for other people, for the police and acquaintances and so on, but I kind of want to tell my family the full story. It’s easier, and they deserve it. If I manage to convince them that I’m not crazy, maybe they can help me figure out what to tell the authorities…_

Suddenly there was a firm knock on the door, and her mum’s voice announced:

“Honey, I found some of your old jeans and a t-shirt! I’ll leave them here on the sink, ok?”

“Thank you!”

_Yeah, I think I’m going to tell them the truth, and if it backfires, then so be it. It just wouldn’t feel right to lie to them. It’s going to be a long story though, I don’t think I should overwhelm them with every little detail at first. I’ll just go out there, tell them the basics, and let the conversation go from there. I can do that, I can totally do that… I hope._

Decision made and body finally free of dirt, she felt confident enough to step out of the shower and into a long and hard conversation. She barely spared a glance to the clothes her mother had found for her, until she noticed that her jeans felt…weird on her. And it wasn’t because they were old, since she was fairly sure this pair had been in her apartment the day she disappeared. What felt odd was that the jeans no longer fit her like they used to. It had nothing to do with her size, she’d never been what you’d call petite and her adventures had not changed that. It was like they were fit for someone else’s body; they were taut around places where she never had any muscle to speak of before, and slightly loose around her hips. Putting on the t-shirt, she realised her former noodle arms now had some muscle to them! _When did that even happen?_ _I guess all that staff-twirling and running around did have an effect, after all. No one notices their own changes as they are happening, I guess…_

It wasn’t just physical, she probably wasn’t the same person that left. No one goes through all that happened without it having some kind of effect on them… but now was not the time for self-examination, not when her family was waiting. She was about to go find them, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of forgetting something… until she realised what it was. Her armour. She had become so used to put at least some pieces of it on, almost like a second skin, that it felt strange not to have that necessity anymore. All of a sudden, she was overcome by such a strong sense of disconnection from reality. It wasn’t just the stupid armour, there were so many little differences between here and Thedas, between who she had been there and who she was supposed to be here, that she was left reeling. She was just now realising how used she had become to how everything worked there. That had become the norm for her, and returning to this, to the life she had known for more than twenty years, was what now felt odd. And to think that it had taken so long for her to adjust to Thedas, only for the process to repeat itself here. What an irony that was! Even the background noise was so different, with cars passing by in the distance, and a weird ringing she took too many seconds to identify as a telephone.

After a few deep breaths, the feeling slowly began to pass. Not wanting her resolve to waver if she took any more moments to think and possibly come closer to an existential crisis, she turned the doorknob and to her surprise, her brother was at the other side of the door.

“Hi, Simon! What were you doing there?”

“…”

“Come on, out with it.”

“You’re gonna think I’m an idiot, but… I wanted to make sure you were still there.”

“Awww, you’re adorable!” Vera exclaimed, looking at him fondly. To make matters more embarrassing (for him), she couldn’t resist giving him her trademark Big Sister Hug, the one that could break bones and dignities alike.

“I am not! Let me go, you big sap! Mum and dad are waiting!”

Resisting open displays of affection, that was more like him. In the end she took pity on him and did let him go, for the moment. There’d be plenty of time to spend together in the near future (and plenty of time to embarrass him as was her sworn duty as older sibling). Following the delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen, they made their way there to find their dad labouring over something on the kitchen stove. Some kind of stew, it looked like. He was always experimenting in the kitchen, and while she didn’t recognize whatever it was he was cooking, she knew she wanted some. Sadly, she didn’t even get the chance to ask for it, since as soon as brother and sister stepped into the kitchen, their dad approached them:

“Sooo, I hear you have quite a story to tell, huh, Vee?” one to beat around the bush, her father was not.

“Hah! I guess you could say that, yeah. But where’s mum? I don’t think she’d appreciate it if we now went and started without her.”

“She went to take a phone call a few minutes ago, I’m guessing she should be back any second now…”

As if on cue, they all heard her fast approaching footsteps. As soon as her face came into view, Vera could tell she was agitated. _Very_ agitated. _What the hell was that phone call abou-_

“Honey, the police just called asking if we’d seen you, they said there was a woman named Vera involved in a car crash just a few hours ago, and she insisted on leaving and the information she gave was false, but someone recognised her anyway and they checked their databases or something and you showed up as a missing person and they want to ask you some questions about it and just what have you been up to exactly?” she said, all in one breath. She would probably have said more if not for the lack of air.

“Wow, ok. Please calm down, breathe. What was that about the police? I was about to explain-”

“Well, you better hurry, because I told them to come over later to straighten things out!”

 _Fuck! That’s just great! Peachy! I guess I was an idiot to think I could avoid all that so easily…_ _but I thought I would have more time to think about a believable story! And what were the chances of someone recognising me? Apparently fucking higher than I thought! I’m sure it was that Karen, I shouldn’t even have told her my name… okay, Vera, calm down. Deep breaths, deep breaths._

“I guess I better start, then. I already told you guys that I was in an accident just before coming here, but I’m okay. Most of the wounds aren’t even from that.”

“What are they from, then? What happened to you?”

Her whole family was looking at her in concern now. There was no good way to say what she had to say, so she decided blunt was best.

“JustbeforethatIwasinabattleinanotherworldandIsomehowendedupbackhere.”

“…What?”

_Deep breaths, Vera, deep breaths. Better not to mention that part about  how you almost lost your mind wandering the Fade, then. Remember, it’s your family, not a dragon. You’ve done worse, girl._

“I said that just before the car crash I was in the middle of a battle. In another world. That’s where I’ve been this past year, by the way. And somehow, I don’t know exactly how, I ended up back here. Interdimensional travel or something, maybe?”

They were all giving her the most unnerving blank looks, so she decided to trudge on with it. Now that she had started, it was (marginally) easier.

“So anyway, when I appeared in here there was a crash, I don’t know, maybe they saw me appear out of nowhere and got distracted, or maybe the crash was happening already. The thing is, as soon as I realised where I was, I didn’t want to face the million awkward questions from the cops. Not without seeing you guys first. So I slipped away, or tried to anyway, and came here, and that’s that.”

There was still an incredulous silence. After a few moments of awkward glances thrown between them, her brother finally spoke:

“Is that why you were wearing that weird armoured pyjamas, then?”

“Simon! Is that the only thing you can think to ask?” her mother exclaimed.

But the question, at least, managed to dispel some of the tension in the room. Vera could tell that, understandably, it wouldn’t be so easy to convince them. But she was glad that they seemed to be willing to listen to her, at least.

“Look, guys, I know this is hard to believe. I know I’m saying things that should be impossible, and that it is a far-fetched story. I know you might be thinking I’ve gone mad. I know all this, but I’m still choosing to tell you. I wouldn’t dare tell you such weird things if it wasn’t the truth, I know it makes me seem crazy. But I trust you. So please just hear me out until I’ve explained everything, and see if you believe me. Please?”

Either they were willing to grant this much, or they were too bewildered to protest, because they all nodded wordlessly for her to continue. And so she told them everything, or at least a general outline since there wasn’t that much time. If they believed her, there would be plenty of time for details. She spoke about how one day she’d woken up to a torn green sky instead of her bedroom ceiling. About how she’d discovered her magic. About the weirdness and confusion of those first days, and how somehow everyone seemed to think she was supposed to fix everything in a world she knew absolutely nothing about. About the growth of the Inquisition from the initial struggles to a powerful organization, and her own growth alongside it. Her battle to live up to what was expected of her. And how, as she discovered that new world, everything became less of a battle and more of… just her life, albeit different from the one she’d led up until there.

She talked about all the main events that led to the final battle, which inevitably led to talking about all the main players. She didn’t want to give them a headache by going into too much detail about politics in Thedas, so she tried to keep to the basics for understanding. Instead, she devoted more time to talk about the people that had been alongside her through all of it, the people that eventually became her friends. It was easy, even pleasant to talk about her experiences with them, or at least some of them… In the end, she didn’t even know how long she talked, uninterrupted, but all in all it couldn’t have been long. Her family’s faces were in several states of doubt when she finished. She wished she could read their minds to know what they were thinking, because no one was saying a damn thing. It was a seemingly unbelievable story to take in, she got that, and precisely because of it she hoped they could see it was true. If she was making all of it up, she would have chosen something slightly more believable, right? She had no reason to tell such a wild story if it wasn’t true, she wouldn’t toy with them like that. She just hoped they could see it, despite the strangeness of her tale.

Eventually, the silence became unbearable to her.

“Sooo… can anybody please say something?”

“Look honey, you have to understand that this is a lot to take in…” her mother trailed off, trying to gather her own thoughts.

“I know, I know, I can’t ask you all to blindly believe me. Just… take your time, and think about it, ok? The only thing I ask for is to keep what I just told you secret, please. I told you because I trust you, but I know I’d have no chance for the police to believe this. I don’t even know what I’m going to tell them…”

And she didn’t get any time to think about it, because not a few moments had gone by in contemplative silence when the doorbell rang loudly. Her mother went to answer the door, and after a hushed conversation she led two police officers to the living room, where the others had moved to. One of the officers, a stout woman not much older than Vera, addressed her:

“Miss Westbrook? I am Officer Smith, this here is Officer Miller, and we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions.”

“Yes, yes of course.”

She pointed the officer to the kitchen, while her companion stayed behind to speak with her family. Uneasily, she settled on one of the chairs, doubts creeping up on her. How could she have been so naïve as to think even for a second that she could come back unnoticed and without having to explain anything? And what could she possibly say to this woman? Being as vague as possible would probably be for the best, but she didn’t know if she could pull that off.

“Miss Westbrook, I understand you were today at the scene of a car crash, is that correct?”

“It is, yeah.”

“The paramedics treated you for a few cuts, but you refused any further treatment, correct?”

“Yes.”

“However, you completed the forms they gave you with false information, did you not?”

“I did. I knew I was considered a missing person. If I can be honest with you, officer, I wanted to see my family before having to face any inquiries, and that wouldn’t have been possible as soon as someone realised who I was.”

The conversation continued in that manner for some time, with the thorough officer asking all the hard questions and Vera doing her best in the fine art of answering without saying anything meaningful. She had no doubt she annoyed the cop to no end in the process. They probably were more interested in the matter of the disappearance than in the accident, anyway. However, she was saved of having to invent an excuse for her disappearance itself. The policewoman had been questioning her about recent events first and not long after they were interrupted by the other officer trying to get Smith’s attention. They exchanged a few words a little ways off, in hushed whispers, occasionally sending looks in her direction. Worryingly enough, Smith’s face showed a little surprise in an otherwise stoic face, in reaction to whatever the other officer was saying. In the end, she nodded, as if agreeing to something the other said. No matter how much she strained her ears, Vera didn’t catch a word, and that did nothing to ease her worries. The same could be said for the officer’s next words:

“Miss Westbrook, we shall be holding further questioning off for the moment. In your situation, until you’ve been evaluated by experts we can’t-”

“What do you mean in my situation?” she interrupted. The stern policewoman didn’t seem to like that very much, and was regarding her with the strangest look on her face, as if Vera was a bomb waiting to explode at any second.

“Miss, my partner has been speaking to your family as we talked. What you told them is… look, people just don’t disappear to fight wars in fantasy worlds. You clearly must be… not well. In no state for questioning, at least. After you’ve consulted with a professional, perhaps-” but Vera didn’t hear anything else. She abruptly stood up and rushed to the living room, and the guilty look on her mother’s face confirmed her fears.

“Mum, it was you?! I only asked for this one thing! How could you tell them?!”

“Honey, please understand. I don’t know what you’ve been through, to make you believe what you just told us. I know you think you’re telling the truth, but… honey, something’s not… I just want you to go talk to a doctor and-”

“But I thought you would at least give me some time even if you didn’t believe me, or at least talk to _me_ first!”

“I’m worried about you, Vera! Please understand! This is for your own good!”

“Oh, of course! You’ve always thought you know better than everybody else, don’t you?”

“Honey, please don’t say that, I just want to-”

“I guess I was a fool to expect this much…” Vera turned away from her mother, her whole demeanour dropping.

“Vera…“

By now, both officers were standing awkwardly at the edge of the group, knowing they had to do something. In the uncomfortable silence that followed, the woman that had spoken to Vera saw at last her opportunity to take charge of the situation:

“Miss, an ambulance is on its way to take you to the hospital. A doctor will make an assessment of your mental health there. Do you agree to go?”

How could she not? What were her options now, really? She could refuse, and they would take her against her will anyway and make even more of a mess of the situation. She didn’t particularly want her family to see that. Or she could comply and go with them, and face whatever tests and evaluations they put her through. With the story her mother had told, she was left with no other choices, really. In their shoes, she would probably also think she needed a mental evaluation, no matter how much it irked. She hoped it wouldn’t take too long, at least. Coming to terms with the situation, she drew herself up and tried to force her voice to sound as firm and reasonable as possible when she addressed the officers:

“I’ll go. Do I have a few moments to speak to my family first?”

“… Yes, miss.” answered the policewoman, her expression softening for a second.

Vera saw her father and brother sitting together in the sofa, looking dumbfounded. They had been witnesses to the whole exchange without daring, or maybe without knowing how to intervene, but it clearly pained them to watch. She walked over to where they were sitting, and hugged them both without a word.

“Don’t worry, Vee, we’ll go see you as soon as we can.”

“Yeah, and we’ll bring you brownies. Hospital food is garbage.”

Vera chuckled. She had no doubt that if the next few days were any easier, it would be because of them.

“Yeah, you better do. I’ll see you guys soon.” she said, and she let go with a final squeeze. She turned to the door, and her eyes unintentionally met those of her mother. She didn’t know what to say to her, she didn’t even know if she wanted to say anything… but in the end it was her mother who spoke. She never took silences very well.

“Vera, promise we’ll talk further about this, ok? I don’t want to leave things like this…” she said, caught in the middle of wanting to hug her daughter but not knowing if she’d welcome it right then.

“… Yeah. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time.” Vera answered, trying to keep her tone as neutral as possible. She was upset, it was true, and her feelings towards her mother were quite conflicting at that moment, to say the least. But she’d hate to be rash, make it worse, and come to regret it later. In the end, she simply went towards the officers and never saw how miserable her mother looked as Vera walked away. Now that her mind was made, she wanted to get this hospital business over with as soon as possible.

“I’m ready, let’s go.”

That said, they went to the front door just in time to see the ambulance arrive, marking the beginning of what would most likely be a long and tiring process. And to think that, not that long ago, her half formed plan had been to visit her family, have a good long chat, and maybe try to go back to Thedas in a few days and explain everything. Admittedly, it wasn’t a very sound plan. Seeing how things were going, who even knew if she’d see any of them ever again… but she refused to dwell on that possibility. She had foolishly expected things to go better than they usually did. So much for that.

_Oh joy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet the family! Even if it was short lived, since things are already going down. Hope you liked this chapter, it was an extra-long one! To apologise for my absence, in part. 
> 
> Any thoughts? Questions? Criticisms or typos or weird shit you might have noticed? Be sure to leave them in a comment if you want, along with anything else, hearing from you all is very much appreciated :) And thanks to everyone that left kudos and bookmarked this story (or does so in the future), each and every one of them really lift my spirits!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and see you in the next chapter ;)


	4. Confinement

So far, hospital life was turning out to be… surprisingly slow, actually. Vera had only been there for the better part of an afternoon and couldn’t judge very well, true enough. She could also admit that her previous knowledge about how psychiatric wards worked amounted to… approximately zero, more or less. So coming here, in truth she hadn’t really had the faintest idea of what to expect. But somehow, waiting around so much had never figured in her mental picture. First in the ER for a bit; and then waiting for the different specialists once she’d been admitted to the ward itself. There had been a routine physical check-up right away (where she could have sworn some of her newer scars raised a few eyebrows), and then the staff had shown her around the main common areas while she waited for a Dr Evans. He turned out to be one of the busiest psychiatrists ever, but in the end he managed to find a spot in his schedule and conduct what he had kept calling an “initial evaluation”.

But even after all that, she wasn’t even done yet! She was now waiting for some other doctor to make an appearance. In all that time she hadn’t seen anyone outside hospital staff, and other patients only in passing. She hadn’t even been permitted to see her family yet, but at least she could say that in the last few hours she had met every staff member in the psych unit, or so it seemed. It hadn’t taken long, since there weren’t that many of them to begin with, and she wondered how the place could keep running on so few people in such tight schedules. No wonder she had to wait!  From the small number of veteran nurses and doctors nothing could surprise to the few young residents full of energy, they all had a certain restlessness in common. Like they had a million things yet to do and not nearly enough time… which was probably the case, come to think of it.

The residents were fun, at least. To their credit, they always tried their best to appear all business, but in the very first moments she had caught a few looks aimed at her filled with such unbridled curiosity it was almost endearing, in a way. Maybe their inexperience made them treat every new arrival like that, or perhaps rumours about her were already flying and they were intrigued by whatever they had heard. She had been tempted to start reciting the few verses of the Chant of Light that had stuck in her head backwards, just to have something to do… just to see their reactions, she’d bet they’d be priceless. Not that the older nurses and the good seasoned doctors would bat an eyelid, no, those had seen enough bullshit in their lives already. Proper professionals, they were. But the young first year residents might be properly startled by her antics, or at least slightly shocked. It could be entertaining… because for fuck’s sake, was she bored now. They might be leaving her alone right now, waiting yet again, but if she had to fill out one more questionnaire, so help her, she might just run down the hall screaming. Naked, to more effect.

Yes, on top of the toll such a draining day had already taken on her, she was clearly bored out of her mind, she’d admit that. Even worse, she wasn’t even finished. Up until now, the so-called initial evaluation had gone down more or less like this. First, once Dr Evans found a spot in his schedule, he’d sat down with her and asked her a few general questions about herself, her medical history… so far, so good. That was to be expected. Then he’d had the gruelling job of working with her through the endless questions of several different tests and questionnaires. Oh joy. What had struck her as odd, though, was how very specific some of those questions were. She’d made a mental note to find out at some point how this kind of tests worked, since she had no idea how most of those questions could possibly be relevant.

But it would have to be some other day, because just in case all that hadn’t been enough, _then_ the doctor had launched into a detailed interview wasting absolutely no time, while the residents watched with rapt attention throughout the whole thing. For their sakes, she hoped they had learned something about how and what to ask, because there had been plenty of examples. From the bland questions such as _“What’s your name?”_ , to the _really_ juicy _“Can you remember ever suffering a traumatic event in your recent past?”_. Admittedly, she hadn’t been a particularly motivated participant at that point. She had been tempted to let the sass run free and tell them that yes, that very conversation was traumatic enough, thank you very much; but she managed just barely to refrain at the very last moment. She had to remember those people were just trying to do their jobs, after all, and she couldn’t blame them if they had the wildest theories about her…

Of course, they hadn’t told her anything to her face yet. No, it was too soon for anything as official as a diagnosis yet…but you didn’t survive the Winter Palace without learning the fine art of snooping. There had been (thankfully) little breaks at several points in the evaluation, and when she was alone in the room she’d overheard the staff outside talking among themselves. It looked like a very general outline of what she’d told her family had already reached their ears, somehow. Maybe they were also interviewing her family; or perhaps whatever her mother had told the police had created a chain of rumours passing from the police, to the people in the ambulance, and from there to everyone else in the psych unit...

It didn’t matter how, the thing was that everyone had heard at least a version of the story and they were all _dying_ to give their opinion. So far, it seemed that the _“girl may have suffered some trauma and then had some kind of psychotic episode”_ theory was the clear winner in every poll. Funnily enough, she’d thought something similar herself, at the very beginning of it all… but she didn’t stay convinced for long. She doubted it would be the same for them, though. And her personal favourite, “ _she’s faking everything to evade the police, just you wait and see”_ , also had its fair share of supporters. At times she wished it was true, especially when she remembered the battles and bloodshed, that she was inventive enough to have spun that story about the last year and a half of her life. But then she remembered the good bits, all the memories that brought a smile to her face… and didn’t know what to feel anymore.

It was much too confusing, so the fact that they didn’t give her much time to get lost in those thoughts came somewhat as a selfish relief. Regardless of what the staff believed, the fact remained that everyone wanted to know the hows and the whys down to the very last detail. And she hadn’t been as talkative as she could during the interview, she was willing to admit that. After it was all done, the doctor had explained to her that he needed to discuss her results with the rest of the team and decide who to assign to her case. Even if they thought she was delusional for believing everything she’d told her family was real ( _big_ mistake on her part to admit that), she supposed they would want to hear the full account of what she believed had happened, not just the second-hand tidbits. At least to have a basis to hypothesize about and get their diagnosis right, if nothing else.

They had taken their sweet time deciding on who it’d be best to send for the task, but in the end Dr Evans came back to tell her that they had finally settled on someone and that they would have their first session right then. It seemed her new psychiatrist couldn’t wait to start taking their own guess at what must have gone wrong in her poor little head, she supposed. Just the thought of being visited by a psychiatrist was weird enough if she stopped to think about it, she’d never have imagined she’d be seeing one less than 24 hours after coming back. Too many things had happened in too short a time and it was _very_ possible she might not be adjusting to everything properly. She dreaded the moment when things weren’t so hectic, when they left her alone and all the implications of her new situation would come crashing down on her (and all she’d left behind _really_ sank in), but for now… she just had enough energy to go with the flow without overthinking things too much. She’d burn that bridge when she got to it. So here she was now, debating instead on whether to give them something else to talk about while she waited for the cavalry to arrive. No doubt they hoped it would be someone she would magically feel comfortable enough to talk with, someone she would spill all her secrets to. At this point, she just wanted to get it over with and go take a good long nap, so she really couldn’t wait to meet this person.

After a few more long minutes, her chance finally came. She was led to yet another of the blandest rooms in existence, little more than four walls painted in the most uninspiring pale green ever, containing a table and a few chairs. The pastel colours were supposed to be calming, poor job that they did at that in her humble opinion, but at least the chairs looked marginally more comfortable than any other she’d seen around here before. Designed to be as comfy as possible for long talks, if she were to take a guess. Small mercies. So she sat in one and waited, picking at the skin around her nails. That was a bad habit of hers she couldn’t shake, she knew, but it served as her outlet when she was anxious and had nothing better to do. _At this rate, there will be no skin left soon_ , she thought, idly contemplating her abused little finger.

Her musings were soon interrupted by the door opening, letting in her much awaited psychiatrist. She had half-expected to find some placid middle-aged doctor with the most unremarkable appearance and an infuriatingly calm voice, but to her surprise a young vibrant woman came through the door. She couldn’t be more than three or four years her senior, but she carried herself with such easy confidence it was enviable. Add to that her short black hair in an edgy asymmetric haircut and the colourful clothes she wore, and the doctor’s perky appearance already made a better impression than she expected. However… first impressions were deceiving and needed to be taken with a healthy dose of caution. After all she hadn’t spoken yet, and it was in her best interest to come off as approachable.

_Let’s hope she’s not too full of herself when she starts talking…_

“Hello there! I’m Dr Costa, but I prefer to go by just Abby, if you don’t mind. I’m sure you know I already know your name, but I believe in good manners. So, what’s yours?” she said excitedly, with a broad smile on her face. In turn, Vera blurted out her own name, taken aback by the other woman’s chirpy babbling. Well, at least she certainly didn’t _sound_ full of herself, more like the world’s most enthusiastic cheerleader _._ Just one look told her that the doctor had a million things she wanted to talk about, and couldn’t wait to get started. “Nice to meet you, then! And now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to be frank with you. I should come in here and try to find out what really happened to you in all these past months, put a nice little diagnosis on you, and start treating whatever it is as soon as possible. You know, stick strictly to the formalities and all that, but I don’t think that’s what either of us wants, right?  So, would you like to tell me what _you_ remember, for a change? I won’t be nagging you with if it was real or not, I promise, I just want to hear your story, as you lived it.”

“You better get comfy then, it’s quite long…” Vera answered, dismissive. The doctor’s words implied that her last year and a half of life was filled with hallucinations or false memories or whatever, and that there was an underlying more believable reality they would have to get to. _I suppose that’s rational… but yeah, good luck with that._

“I know you must be tired of being poked and prodded already, and I understand that you’ve had a long day and must want this over with as soon as possible. I’ll try not to make it worse, I promise, but since we both have to be here for an hour anyway… why don’t we make this as worthwhile for the both of us as we can?” she prompted, while setting down a tiny recorder on top of the table. “By the way, if you allow it I’d like to record this session, so I can go over it later and pay proper attention to you now. Are you ok with this?”

After a moment of consideration, Vera nodded, since she guessed that would be way less distracting than having Dr Costa constantly taking notes (and having no idea of what she might be writing about her). The doctor went on without missing a beat, encouraged by what she must have perceived as a tiny display of cooperation:

“Ok then, would you like to start from the beginning? I’ve been told you disappeared from your apartment building about a year and a half ago, and there hasn’t been a peep from you up until now…”

Well, well, well. She wasn’t all that happy about spilling the beans now, especially since that was what had landed her here in the first place. However, it wasn’t like she would gain anything from going all tight-lipped. It would probably be more trouble to be deemed uncooperative, right? After all, it seemed everyone knew the gist of it already. If they were going to talk, they might as well get the full story, and do with it as they wished. This way, at least she had control over what she said, instead of leaving them to fill in the gaps with wild speculation. Not that they’d believe a word of what she said was real, of course. In their shoes, she probably wouldn’t, either. There would be no doubt she hadn’t been in her right mind the past few months, in their eyes. Especially given that she’d been careless enough to admit she did believe the things she said had actually happened, even before Dr Costa set a foot inside this room. Thus it was too late now anyway to try faking ignorance or memory loss or whatever other excuse she might have come up with to explain an absence of more than a year. Dr Costa seemed decent enough to at least hear her out without too much judgement, with her laid-back attitude towards the whole thing, or at least that was the impression Vera had.

And, to tell the truth… another part of her wanted to talk. It might feel good to tell someone everything, how weird and displaced she’d felt at first in Thedas… and, if she was being completely honest with herself, talking about the feelings of displacement she’d been trying to ignore but had sometimes crept up on her in her few hours back on Earth might be worth a shot, too. How could it be that she now sometimes felt so strange in her own world? Maybe someone whose actual job was to listen to such things would know how to deal with it, someone she wouldn’t have to worry about burdening with her shit because…well, because it was her job to listen to people’s problems. Even if Dr Costa didn’t believe her, surely she could at least help her with those feelings, right?

With her mind almost made up, Vera looked at her new therapist and saw her just leaning back comfortably in her seat, waiting for her to make the decision on whether to speak or not. Dr Costa was giving her the choice of telling her story however she wanted, which was as much flexibility as could probably be expected from a therapist. She could believe this wouldn’t be an interrogation, just someone willing to listen. It could even prove to be therapeutic for her to put it all into words, even if she still had many doubts. Maybe the questioning of her sanity would come later; actually, it probably would. But for now Dr Costa had somehow managed to make her feel at ease enough to get comfy in her seat and seriously consider launching on the weirdest tale of her life. She might not yet fully trust her, but at least she could respect that.

_Here goes nothing…_

“I suppose I have little to lose now, don’t I? Fine, let me see… as you know, I disappeared one night from my apartment. But I don’t really know what happened, exactly, I was too busy having what at the time I thought to be the weirdest dreams…”

 

* * *

 

The first thing she notices is the rain. Like, really really light rain, falling right on her face. Not precisely her idea of a nice waking up, but hey, there it is.

On second thought, there shouldn’t have been any rain… especially since she vividly remembers going to sleep on her bed. Which, mind you, is under an actual roof, thank you very much. So yeah, bit of a contradiction there. If Simon has carried her sleeping body outside again like he did that summer when she woke up to a grasshopper deciding to find residence atop her nose, she swears she is going to kill him. It’s really not fair when people take advantage of the fact that you sleep like a log. The bastard thought it was a hilarious joke, she thought it was in very poor taste and close to giving her a heart attack, not that he seemed to mind much. But wait, no, her brother doesn’t live in the same house as she does anymore. And this rain does seem very very light and kind of odd, now that she thinks about it. More like small feathers falling atop of her. Bur weirdly-textured feathers. Or something. Maybe she should go ahead, shake off this strange sleepiness and open her eyes, but she finds that it would take a ton of effort. An effort she is much too lazy to take right now.

So there she is, lying passively in a limbo very much like when your alarm has gone off but you don’t really give a damn about it, when she notices the second thing. And that is, her bed used to be much more comfortable than this. Her mother warned her countless times to change her old mattress or else she would end up with back pains that would develop into scoliosis and then death (she was always a tad overdramatic), but she never paid her much heed. Maybe she should have, because her bed feels really hard and her body aches all over. Running her hands all over the bed around her, she could have sworn that it definitely did not use to be made of rock. Weird, definitely weird. She should probably open her eyes now…

Finally, the third thing she notices is a gaggle of voices, coming closer. There really should be no one in her apartment. All these little red flags combined are enough to make her open her eyes at last.

_Ooookaaay, why the fuck is the sky green?_

She doesn’t really have enough time to ponder it, though, because some _really_ weirdly dressed people suddenly appear in her field of vision, carrying armour and actual _swords_ and just looking like they escaped from the nearest renaissance fair. Only she doesn’t remember any fairs taking place near town, much less in her apartment. And looking around briefly, she’s pretty sure her apartment never featured strange ruins covered in smouldering fires and charred bodies as part of its interior design. _Wait a second… charred bodies? What the fuck?_ But the medieval loons don’t give her time to fully comprehend what she’s seeing and freak out about it, because they immediately start demanding to know who she is, who she works for, and why she provoked some explosion or other.

“Hey, wait a minute! I know nothing about an explosion! I’ll only admit to that one time in chemistry class, but it was a long time ago!” she answers without really thinking, still more than a little addled.

This doesn’t seem to amuse the wannabe medieval soldiers, because to top it all they start yanking her to her feet, very rudely in her opinion, and their questions only get angrier. As they drag her away, she notices the final thing. Not only does she feel like she got run over by a truck, but she also sees a giant glowy green scar. In the palm of her left hand. And it hurts like hell all of a sudden.

_That was definitely not there before…_ is all she has time to think, before, to her shame, passing out.

 

She may or may not have woken up several times since then, but the world is too blurry around the edges for her taste. Everything hurts, she is _still_ disoriented, and more of those weird people keep asking her questions and flitting about her like the world’s largest and most annoying moths. So it’s understandable that she doesn’t really put a ton of effort into staying awake for long periods of time, especially when oblivion is so welcoming and oh, so much more easy. Nothing to worry about when you’re out cold, oh no.

But nothing good ever lasts long, because the first time she wakes up feeling marginally less awful comes at last. She’s still sluggish and sore, of course, but no longer like she is about to die. She doesn’t dare move for now, just in case moving makes everything worse again. At least there is some improvement physically, because otherwise finding out after a quick look that she’s in some kind of damp stone cell (with good old iron bars and all) doesn’t help her mental state. At all. To make matters worse, she must be in the hands of some kind of lunatics, because there is way too much torchlight for her taste and everything looks like it wouldn’t be out of place a few centuries back. Or as a Game of Thrones set, maybe. There are even several more cells matching her own around a central bare space, all empty, forming quite the creepiest place she’s ever woken up in. Or maybe the second creepiest place, since the ruins she barely had time to take in before could very well compete for the first place. Surely she can’t actually have seen people’s scorched corpses before, right? She refuses to believe that, it just doesn’t make sense. There must be a perfectly rational explanation. For sure it was something else, she was too dazed and it’s understandable she was mistaken, right? Right?

To make matters even worse, in the middle of all this inner turmoil she suddenly notices she isn’t alone. She is lying (quite uncomfortably, mind you) on a pitiable excuse for a straw mattress, and there is some strange bald man kneeling right next to her, examining her left hand like it’s some kind of puzzle. Her still glowy left hand, by the way. The man, or the Lord of the Rings enthusiast if the pointed ears are anything to go by, is so absorbed by whatever he’s doing to her hand that he hasn’t noticed she is awake yet. And that’s for the best, if someone were to ask her, because it gives her the chance to properly freak out unbothered.

Hands, on average, don’t suddenly sprout weird green scars that glow enough to act as a lighthouse. People, on average, don’t wake up to find they are in the middle of such nonsense with no recollection of how they got there. Legolas wannabes, on average, have more hair and more of a tendency to stick to conventions instead of… whatever this is.  And she’s still in her damned pyjamas, for fuck’s sake! Add all that up and she’s the most anxious she’s ever been, which leads to the simultaneous urges of fighting the stranger for answers or getting about a continent away from him. In other state of mind, she could have seen that none of those were particularly realistic options in her present circumstances… but under the dim light, he doesn’t look all that strong or imposing and, more importantly, he is distracted. If only she could move without feeling dizzy, her fight or flight instincts could maybe get the upper hand here… but, as it turns out, that’s a very big if. Since, when she tries to sit up, her head spins and the most she manages is jerking her body awkwardly.

_Great success there, girl! Not feeling all that peachy, are we? Oh fuck, I think Legolas here noticed that…_

He must have, anyway, since he turns suddenly towards Vera with a mildly surprised look on his face. Pressing this sudden advantage, she resolves not to give him too much time to react. With little else to do in her present condition, she manages to half-prop herself on her elbows in a slightly more dignified position and the barrage of questions begins without mercy.

“Who are you? Where am I? How long have I been here? What were you doing to my hand? What’s going on?”

To his credit, he schools his expression into a more neutral one remarkably fast, almost seamlessly. It leaves nothing but low-key concern on features that otherwise give very little away, but oddly enough, he casts a quick glance outside the bars before saying:

“My apologies if I disturbed your rest. It is a good sign to see you brimming with questions so soon after waking, but you must take those to the Seeker. No one is supposed to speak to the prisoner without her present, or so I have been told.”

_Prisoner, is it? Great, just great. That must be why the guy’s trying to be as expressionless as a potato, though, never let your guard down around a ‘dangerous criminal’ like me… this is just ridiculous!_

“Wait, what? Look, I don’t have the faintest idea of what you’re talking about. This must all be some sort of terrible mistake, because I don’t think I’m supposed to be any kind of prisoner either, yet here we are…”

“That is not for me to say. The circumstances you were found in were highly suspicious, but perhaps you do not recall the events that led you there. Some confusion is to be expected, after what you must have gone through. Do you remember what happened?”

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened alright. I was sleeping at home, minding my own business, and next thing I know I’m not in my own house, the fucking _sky_ is green and I’m surrounded by morons!”

She regrets it almost as soon as she’s said it. It isn’t particularly wise to start badmouthing the guys who seem to think you are their prisoner, after all, but her unease over this whole situation gets the better of her. Yet, if bald Legolas is angered by her little outburst, he certainly doesn’t show it.

“I see. It will certainly be interesting to see you use such… colourful language with the Seeker. Is that absolutely all you remember?”

“Yes! I swear I have no idea how any of that happened! And who’s that Seeker you keep bringing up?”

“If you truly do not know, you will see soon enough. I wish you luck, the Seeker is not someone easily satisfied by such a vague account of events…” he says slowly, and she could swear there’s a very subtle undertone of… disappointment? _Why the hell would_ he _be disappointed?_

“You know, you’re awfully chatty for someone who isn’t supposed to ‘speak to the prisoner’…”

“Would you rather I did not speak, then?”

“I would rather you answered my questions! I’ve no idea what’s going on, for fuck’s sake!” she exclaims, voice rising. _What’s this guy’s deal? He says he can’t speak to me, but that doesn’t really stop him. Not that I’m getting any answers from this conversation!_

Her sheer ignorance must have gradually got through to him, because his guarded demeanour had been subtly turning more and more speculative and _curious_ as they spoke. Maybe now he'll leave her alone… or maybe not, since she finds herself on the receiving end of the most evaluating stare she’s ever been under, and the sharp scrutiny makes her feel as if she were purposefully hiding the world’s most valuable secrets from him. _Tough luck, Legolas, I don’t know shit about what’s going on,_ she thinks, frowning. She’s more than ready to fight this infuriating man for some answers, but soon the sound of shuffling guards outside brings them both back to the present. Sensing her growing temper and perhaps not wanting to attract their attention, he seems to yield. Only for the moment, she has no doubt.

“Very well then. To answer your first question, my name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. May I have yours?”

“HA! You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna go giving my actual name to the first random weirdo that decides to ask! What’s with those ears anywa- AAAAHHH!”

The green thingy in Vera’s left hand chooses that precise moment to flare up and hit her with a nice new wave of agonizing pain, and some nausea on the side. That turns out to be a very effective way of cutting her mid-sentence, and sending her into the welcoming arms of oblivion.

 

It was becoming a worrying habit, this passing out and not knowing what the fuck goes on meanwhile. But here she is, waking up hurting and confused for the umpteenth time in a very short span. Or a probably short span. Or maybe a not-so-short span? Honestly, she has no way to know how much time has passed since she woke up the first time and this hallucination started. And that is what all this must be, a hallucination. Or a really weird and reeeeally long dream, maybe. The notion of some medieval enthusiasts just… kidnapping her or whatever for their weird roleplays is too outlandish to believe, as she’d initially assumed. There’s no way it could have happened. She has to be rational here, it just doesn’t make sense. Perhaps she fell asleep reading the Lord of the Rings, fell from the bed and hit her head. Pretty hard. Admittedly, she’s never heard of dreams or hallucinations being so consistent, so vivid and so… realistic, but what else could it be?

Anyway, at least this time her mind hasn’t supplied her with anyone nearby and she is thankfully alone. And almost as soon as this thought crosses her mind, a door slams open and a frankly obscene number of soldiers for just one Vera come to stand in front of her cell door.

_Great, this is just great! I can’t even give myself a few minutes to think without more assholes coming over. Thank you for the sabotage, brain!_

The nearest soldier unlocks the door carefully and approaches her with two of his friends, looking like he just drew the short straw. They all seem to think she’s some kind of dangerous animal judging by how slowly they come closer, taking care not to make any sudden movements. She might have laughed at the frightened faces they were trying to conceal in their otherwise imposing-rugged-soldier look, if it wasn’t for the fact that… well, she has no idea of what’s going on. And they probably aren’t even real, to be honest.

Soldier 1 comes to hover at a prudent distance to her left, while Soldier 2 stays in front of her and Soldier 3 goes to her right. She can’t even be bothered to put in the effort to refer to them as anything but a number, honestly. All the others draw their swords and form a loose circle around them, and now she _really_ doesn’t like how this is looking, not one bit. She recoils as much as her sorry state allows (which isn’t much), but to no avail. At least she’s still able to open her big mouth and get herself deeper into this mess, and she’s about to when Soldiers 1 and 3 move in a blur and hold her hands together in front of her. Soldier 2 finally reveals the giant shackles she’s been hiding behind her back all this time, and puts them firmly around Vera’s wrists. It all happens in just a few seconds, faster than she can protest. She could swear there are a few sighs of relief when it’s done, even! This whole thing is just getting absurd!

Soldier 2, having served her purpose, also draws her sword and tells Vera _very_ sternly to stand up and get out of her cell. Which she isn’t feeling inclined to do, in all honesty, both because how shitty she feels and because she doesn’t feel like taking orders from soldiers her mind has conjured up. Imagined or not, their arms seem very solid when they yank her to her feet and drag her to the centre of the space just outside her cell, seeing that she isn’t cooperating. And there she is, on her knees, surrounded by too many soldiers for her taste that seem to have nothing better to do apart from pointing their swords at her, when whatever is on her left hand decides to flare up at the same time two women make their dramatic entrance.

The first one slams that poor door open yet again, and as soon as she is through the threshold she starts circling Vera like some kind of bird of prey. She’s wearing elaborate armour and a giant sword at her hip, as best as Vera can tell while reeling with pain. With her considerable height, her strong features and the royally pissed-off look in her face, she has the imposing attitude down to a T. The second woman is much more subtle, in manner if not in fashion choices. She also wears plenty of chainmail like some kind of renaissance fair escapee, but at least she isn’t giving Vera the stink eye. Or not as much, anyway. And she is a redhead, which might sound shallow but immediately gives her points in Vera’s list. As a fellow redhead, Vera hopes she might expect some leniency. _It’s a perk of belonging to the exclusive red-headed society, we stick together, right?_ she thinks somewhat incongruously in the circumstances. Or maybe it’s the stress talking. But this first impression of liking the redhead better is confirmed almost immediately, as soon as the other woman opens her mouth:

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now.”

That is the last straw. If it wasn’t enough to wake up disoriented under a green sky, not to mention the manhandling, imprisonment, and random waves of pain from the scar in her hand as if she was Harry Potter; now her own brain is sending her death threats. She can’t possibly stand this without snapping in some way. Overlooking the absurdity of the situation, Vera is about to give this figment of her imagination a piece of her mind, but the woman keeps ranting about some Conclave that has been destroyed and how Vera is the only survivor. Come to think about it, she could maybe see where all the suspicion came from, if she was in their shoes. But she isn’t in the mood for thinking straight, and this is all in her head anyway, dammit!

“Look lady, I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about, and I’m getting kind of fed up with your attitude.”

She isn’t about to tolerate her own mind talking to her like that! But the figment of her imagination seems keen on bullying her, because she jerks Vera’s hand with way more force than is strictly necessary and demands an explanation. Her hand responds with a nice new green flare. And a fresh wave of pain, of course.

“I don’t know what that is! Now let me go, you crazy savage! You’re all nothing but a bad dream!”

“You’re lying!” it might have been because of the name calling, or her own inner frustration, but the crazy savage lunges at her with all her might. Before Vera can debate on how this hallucination (or whatever it is) manages to make the other woman’s hands feel so real, and on how a mental beating will feel like, Captain Redhead saves the day:

“We need her, Cassandra.”

_Oh, my hallucinations have names of their own! How nice!_

At least, with that simple gesture Captain Redhead confirms herself as Vera’s Favourite Hallucination of the Day. Even more so with her next few words:

“She’s clearly confused, she thinks we are not real! Let me speak to her,” she says, and turning to Vera she continues, “Do you remember what happened? How this began?”

_Captain Redhead, I knew I liked you for a reason._

“I just remember going to bed as usual, then waking up I don’t even know where under a green sky, and then you people got to me! That’s all!” although to be fair, she’s beginning to remember traces of an even weirder dream she’d been having just before that, but she isn’t about to say it. She sounds crazy enough to her own ears already.

Captain Redhead shakes her head, maybe disappointed with such a vague answer. If she wants to know more she better join the queue, because Vera herself would pay for some answers to all this nonsense. She looks about to continue with the interrogation when Cassandra steps between the two, telling Captain Redhead (who turns out to be called Leliana, as Vera overhears) to go somewhere or other. One would think they’re in a hurry, for some unknown reason. More alarmingly, she says she’ll take Vera to the rift herself. She has no idea what rift they are talking about, nor is she particularly willing to find out (and much less in the company of this particular psycho).

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait, where are you taking me?” she asks to the stern face of Cassandra, while the warrior kneels to dispose of the shackles and help Vera stand. She makes sure to tie Vera’s hands extra-tightly anyway, so she still isn’t climbing any ranks in Vera’s Favourite Hallucination of the Day list. The brain truly does work in mysterious ways, because in any case she doesn’t understand the logic in this change all of a sudden. Why would anyone be taking their prisoner for a nice little stroll? It must reflect in some kind of puzzled look on her part, if Cassandra’s next words are anything to go by:

“It will be easier to show you. Or do you wish to stay in your cell?” the warrior asks, with no small amount of poorly concealed hostility in her tone.

Truth is, she doesn’t really want to stay here, no. Part of her imagination the cell may be, but it is a very boring part. She’s curious as to what type of bullshit her mind still has in store for her, and maybe she did really hit her head pretty hard, because right now, she’s no longer worried. Believing this is not real makes everything so much easier. She kind of wants to see this folly through, for as long as this weird episode lasts. It can’t be long now, anyway. And with a bit of luck, at some point she’ll be able to ditch this particular psycho for more interesting hallucinations. Optimism!

And so she finds herself following this Cassandra without a word, trying to hold her head high and keep her pride intact. It is not to be, seeing how she trips over her own two feet after barely two steps. She can’t even be graceful in her own imagination, for fuck’s sake! It shouldn’t matter much given that these people aren’t real, but the poorly-concealed snigger of some soldier or other still rankles. Never mind that it’s all in her head. Speaking of soldiers, the less giggly ones they leave behind as they walk keep their eyes peeled on her, as do the ones that are stationed just outside the cells, and then all the guards they find while going up some stairs and through some kind of… church? Since when do churches have their own set of creepy cells underneath? Her mind definitely chooses the weirdest settings, that’s for sure. Curiously, the soldiers all nod their head respectfully at Cassandra, and Vera guesses she must be someone important around the place. _It’s nice to know that at least your own hallucinations are respected, I guess._

Finally they come to the main doors of the church, or whatever it is. They open to reveal a quaint little village, with all the charm of its snowy rooftops and wooden cottages. And very impressive views, to be honest! The mountains all around are quite impressive and would have delighted any skier, no doubt. Quite an idyllic place, all in all, if it wasn’t for the presence of more renaissance fanatics giving her the stink eye. And the giant green _hole_ in the middle of the sky, of course, which try as she might she can’t ignore for long. It attracts all of the attention, that angry thing with all those swirling clouds and the unnatural colours and… is that a piece of rock it just spewed? Yeah, if all this was real she doesn’t envy whoever had to deal with _that_.

 

* * *

 

In one pause to take breath, Vera glanced up at the clock and found, to her surprise, that their allotted hour had already come and gone a few minutes ago. She hadn’t really noticed the time getting away from her like that. In fact, she hadn’t minded speaking for this long about her experience as much as she thought she would. Vera had to give it to her, at least Dr Costa really knew how to listen. It was clear she’d had her whole attention from the very beginning, and true to her word the doctor had only interrupted if she needed something clarified, but otherwise she just let Vera explain herself however she wanted.

That was… nice, to be honest. Still, you never knew. Dr Costa seemed pleasant enough, but Vera couldn’t really tell what she might be thinking about all this. The doctor seemed to her just too chipper, too friendly, and she wondered if it was all a façade or if the problem lay with herself. All that had happened lately, even before her time on Earth went downhill, didn’t help in the least with any trust issues she might have, that was for sure. Something else for Dr Costa to treat, right? And just like that, she didn’t feel like talking anymore.

“Hey, umm… I think we’ve gone overtime,” she said instead, somewhat abruptly.

“Oh, you’re right! I’m so sorry, I really am terrible with keeping track of time, and you have had a very long day,” Dr Costa replied, while scrambling to collect her stuff. It seemed Vera’s curtness was far from bothering the doctor. “Well, thank you for sharing all that with me, Vera! We’ll have our next session soon, ok? Hopefully tomorrow afternoon, I’ll let you know the exact time. I just have to go through the recording and speak to some people, and tomorrow we’ll be able to tell you more about the details of your stay here. For now you’ve a bed waiting for you, but please don’t hesitate to ask around for me any time if you need something!”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

“It’s been a pleasure to meet you! See you tomorrow!”

Vera did little more than nod in response, not that the other woman seemed to mind her coldness much. Nothing could ever put a damper on Dr Costa’s eternal good mood, or so it seemed. The doctor even left the room with a little smile and a wave of her hand! Her chirpiness seemed to know no bounds, unlike Vera’s own mood. Plus, after such a full day, the exhaustion had finally got to her. As time had gone by, she’d been less and less aware of the specifics of what the doctor was saying. Or maybe she just didn’t have the energy left to care. Curiosity would probably kick in tomorrow; after all, there were many things she hadn’t thought to ask about her situation in here.

But for now, as soon as she stood up, she realised she was quite close to dying on her feet, and wished for nothing more than the bed the doctor had mentioned. Even if it was a hospital one. So she too exited the room and was met with an orderly that had been waiting for her just outside the door. Under his watchful eye she made her way to her assigned room, barely noticing her surroundings since she was already half asleep. She vaguely noted that some of her belongings were already there, somehow, but she was much too tired to ask herself how. Especially since her dinner arrived soon after, and she devoured it as fast as she could. She didn’t even notice the taste much, but the thought of her brother’s promise to bring her _proper_ food managed to bring a smile to her face as she prepared for bed. Even if today had been hectic, there were visiting hours every day, she’d made a point to find at least that out. So she’d see him tomorrow, and her dad too… and probably her mum. She still had no idea of what to do around her, but that would be a problem for tomorrow. Today, she went out like a light as soon as her head hit the scratchy pillow, not that she would have a very restful night anyway…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took ~~some~~ a lot of liberties writing this chapter regarding how psychiatry wards work in hospitals (based on an Internet search, fallible I know), so if you see anything blatantly wrong with it, please tell me. Also you probably noticed the differences both in tenses and in tone between Earth-story and Thedas-story, hope it wasn’t too weird, just keep in mind that the narrator’s point of view (while in 3rd person) follows Vera very closely, and her perception is biased and she’s changed as time went by. Hope the differences are intriguing enough to make you guys want to keep reading!  
>  I was really excited for this chapter, parts of it have been written for a long time! Lots of first encounters in there also, and some original characters! Do tell me what you thought about everyone’s portrayal, I hope it’s not too OOC and I’m making it believable. I love-hate writing scenes with Solas, there are always layers and layers of hidden motivations and it’s draining and awesome at the same time XD  
> By the way, this is not under the influence of any beta, so any and all mistakes are mine. Since I’m not a native speaker, please point it out to me if you notice something weird with the punctuation, vocabulary, style or whatever.  
> Sorry for the long note, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! As always, thanks to everyone that left kudos, thanks for reading, and see you in the next chapter ;)


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